Here I am, sitting in my second coffee shop of the day, supposed to be finishing an assignment and yet I'm letting my mind wander as I'm staring out this window at the beautiful day outside. Despite it only being 2pm, it's been a great day, a great self-love day in particular. Today I was able to tell someone who is pretty much the sister I've never had, but still family, something that I've been wanting to for awhile now and her response and support was so overwhelming for me and filled me with so much joy that I can't really seem to concentrate on anything else besides the blissful happiness that's currently within me.

Anyone who has ever met me or even spent a short time around me would know that I'm a private person and getting me to say anything even remotely personal about myself is an entirely complicated mission within itself. I used to internalize everything, because I either didn't trust anyone enough or duh, I feared judgement and that people's opinions of me would change. At the beginning of the year, I spoke about vulnerability as something that had a great impact on my life because it taught me that being vulnerable meant being truly alive. Being vulnerable for me also meant opening up to people and letting those walls down that I held so high up emotionally. There's a sense of relief in being able to tell people who genuinely want to hear what you're saying, anything that's on your mind, and to do that is putting yourself out there and that's something to be proud of. Ever since I've been able to slowly let those walls down and actually let people in on my ever so busy mind, I've learned so much more about the people that I know I can trust and I've simultaneously also become so much closer with them. I've also been able to learn about myself, and allow myself to feel emotions and ponder them and realize that it's all okay. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is worth it, because that vulnerability lets you know that you are alive, that there are people who care about you, and the only person that was standing in the way of you seeing that was you.

I didn't realize all of this in one night, and I sure as hell didn't just start spreading my entire life story to everyone I encountered, but I am learning to open up to the people who I know care, and so far, it's paying off. To those who listen to me, thank you, you make me a better me. A happier and more free me. Also to those who listen to me, please stop me from spending 8 dollars in total on chai tea lattes in one day at two different coffee shops, thank you.